What happened to them after their brief TV life on the Saturday morning show is unknown. They just vanished. And yet me and Trev always found them good, if slightly eccentric, company. And so we decided to track them down.

That was no easy task, but more on that some other time. We did find them, eventually, and they granted us a rare interview.

We hope to have that up and running by the end of the week. Maybe a two-parter (they don’t half go on). In the meantime, why not enjoy their hit single (reaching no.61 in the charts), Jennifer Juniper with Donovan, accompanied by some exclusive footage.

Someone bid £371 for us. The fool! But well done, David. And thanks for helping Comic Relief. David brought along his friend Karen, who didn’t know she was going to meet us, and is (pity her please) a fan of us from yonks ago. It was meant to be a dream come true. It should have been like Jim’ll Fix It.

We did our best. Here’s what happened.

And big thanks to Nigel at Spots and Stripes for his marvellous hospitality.

Wooooooooh! Podcast No.13. And, spookily, only 26 days after Hallowe’en. Dare you listen to it?

If you do listen, you’ll see that we end on a highlight. Only an interview with Norwegish Pop legends a-ha. Enjoy it, and remember, as the weather turns cold, stay on those roads.

You can listen to it/ download it here

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location

And Andrea has made a big and thorough list. Here’s what you’ll find:

Hats
It’s the 13th podcast!
Andrea’s friend in the basement
Writing in your pants
Spammers
The Social Network
Skyline
A-ha
Concept albums
Trev’s crazy dream
3D television
What annoys us about each other?
Pirates
Hay fever
Boring 2010
I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!
Who is your daddy?
Celebrity bear wrestling
Soups or casserole?
Waxy or crumbly cheese?
An Andrea Mann podcast
Andrea is professionally funny
I Am James Ward
Film updates
Simon’s on the move
Trev’s doing a gig
Is anything off-limits in comedy?
X Factor’s Wagner and the Christmas Number One
‘Jennifer Juniper’
Acsia and Adam Stickels
Rescuing and being rescued
A swing your pants request
Andrea interviews A-ha! (Or is it Trev and Simon?)
A song to end on

Please enjoy listening to it. Thank you.

Oh, and click on the highlighted ones for bonus fun. Sorry if some are a bit rude. Whenever I am searching for images I can’t help but type in “sexy” first. Like “sexy hat”. Try it. Unless you don’t want to, or don’t approve.

Here’s Pocast No.10, or, if you prefer, Podcast No.9 part two. We recorded Podcast No.9 a few weeks back sitting on a balcony at the Royal Festival Hall. When we’d done, we moved inside, had a sandwich, and then did another. We don’t get to meet up too much so’s we thought it a good idea (that’s one of the best sentences I’ve ever written).

You can listen to/download it here- Trev and Simon Podcast No.10

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location

And here’s what’s on it:

1. Dance hall toasters.
2. Duralit V Duraglit.
3. Trev gets saucy.
4. Simon gets married.
5. Sexy rabbits.
6. Squirrels (maybe sexy).
7. Elevator Gods.
8. Filming.
9. Tears of a clown.
10. Yorkshire accents.
11. Trev loves beacons.
12. Trev and Simon sing.
13. Carry your Little Belisha Beacon/*****.
14. Grandad pierrots.
15. The Eggrobats.
16. Dan and the Doves.
17. The Rogers Brothers.
18. The Cox Twins.
19. Hair up/Hair down.
20. trev and DIY.
21. James Ward and Blu-Tack.
22. the “Carrot” Farm.
23. Trev meets a tricologist.
24. Dead Man’s Shoes.
25. York.
26. Tadcaster.
27. Looking for an ending.

We hope you enjoy it. And we hope to do another next Wednesday, most likely our last before Christmas. If you need any festive questions answering, you know you can rely on us.

Here’s Podcast No. 7.  Andrea, our producer, says it’s “very funny and has a lovely vibe”. And she knows. And sorry once more but there has to be a warning! This Podcast contains bad language. Actually really quite bad bad language! Sorry. You have been warned. I blame David Cameron.

You can listen to/download it, here- Trev And Simon Podcast No. 7

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location.

And what’s in it? Here’s the list-

1. 60s pop star Joe Brown
2. Twitter
3. Swearing!
4. Simon’s special diet
5. Trev’s holiday
6. Hats and swimming pants
7. Star-spotting on Trev’s holiday
8. Silverfish
9. (Queuing for) mints
10. Being poisoned
11. Would Trev or Simon pee on the other? Find out!
12. Simon’s film review: The Taking Of Pelham 123
13. Introducing Pickles the cat
14. Simon’s second film review: Antichrist
15. Unpleasant songs
16. Sam Brown
17. Meeting Syd Little
18. David Cameron
19. Questions from listeners
20. Andrea fumigates Simon
21. The Trev And Simon Festival
22. Jokes from Trev And Simon’s Stupid Book
23. How to play Wilderness
24. More questions from listeners
25. Fights
26. Andrea chokes
27. A game of Wilderness
28. More jokes

There you go. And look! Here’s our book:

And guess what? It is available! On Amazon. And for only 1p! That’s a bargain. Only 4 left. Get it now for one penny, here.

Oh, and I apologise to all those listeners who are traumatised by Trev and Andrea’s singing of the 23rd best selling single of 1982.

Oh, and one more thing. Here’s what Trev drew during the podcast.

Pot Fish by Sophy, aged 11

Here’s some art by Sophy, aged 11, now, one would hope, in her mid twenties. Well done Sophy. Your art survives.

We’re doing a podcats tonight and we have loads of questions from you all. Thank you. We’ll get through as many as we can, and I will be rude to you all. Maybe. That’s me, Simon. Not Trev. He’s nice. But he could turn. he’s just back from holiday- two weeks in the sun- and now it’s just rain rain rain. Who knows what that will do to him.

Please keep on leaving comments, questions, and if we don’t get round to them this time, maybe next time.

In the meantime here’s an old prop for our Live and Kicking days that I would like to leave up here as our official Michael Jackson tribute.

how we'd look if we had proper jobs

Hello folks. We haven’t forgotten you and we hope you haven’t forgotten us. Yes, it’s been just over a month since our last podcast and we’re well aware we are due another one. We’re getting podcast withdrawal symptoms. I was found wandering the streets the other day, muttering to myself about monkey coconut abuse. Trev’s suffering from tweed withdrawal so badly he’s taken to wearing tweed pyjamas.

We will do another. Honest. Promise. It’s just that Andrea, our lovely producer and instigator and mentor blah blah blah has only gone and got herself a proper job, and launched an album called Photograph, and just in general got on with her life rather than wasting it with a couple of daft-talking chancers.

We plan to kidnap her. We will kidnap her, keep her locked up for months on end until she develops Stockholm Syndrome. The we will all move to Stockholm and do a podcast from there. At least that’s the plan (that I’ve just made up in the last few seconds of typing).

Failing that we’ll wait until we’ve all got a free evening.

You can listen to/ download it here… trev-and-simon-episode-3

Download notes: For PC users, right-click the link above, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer. For Mac users, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer.

That’s the serious stuff out of the way. So, yes, here’s No.3, recorded (for all you time fans) between approximately 2.30pm and 3.30pm on the 19th March 2009. In Andrea’s flat. Which is in Peckham or Dulwich, depending on whether you want to be poncey or not. Peckwich.

Andrea sent it to me to post up here, but without her usual list. She did one but it got lost in cyberspace. And so she asked me to do it because… well, I guess she just can’t even begin to bear to listen to the whole thing again. Podcasts should be like Mission:Impossible missives. They should detonate five seconds after being heard. And that should be that. Until the next one. So, I’m in charge of the list, and it turns out to be a long one. Here’s what you can listen to in Podcast No.3:

1. Ideal Podcast length. 4 or 46 minutes.
2. Andrea calls us boys… as does Barrymore.
3. Geoff Boyes.
4. The Hampshire Hoffman.
5. Trev loves Mike and the Mechanics.
6. Andrea loves Paul Carrack.
7. Andrea is Nana in Nana Nia.
8. The French Green Green Grass of Home.
9. The Snake.
10. Trev sings The Snake.
11. The Snake deconstructed.
12. Caffeine.
13. Funny place names.
14. Andrea loves Phil Collins.
15. Whigfield- Pop Outsider.
16. Rasputin record pluggers.
17. Whigfield does duvets.
18. Don’t do… versus Do do.
19. Muck Off.
20. Phillip Schofield Radio 1 Roadshow.
21. Nicknames.
22. Who do we look like?
23. Looniversity Challenge- Good choice!
24. Nicknames explained.
25. Simon faces up to US military might in Area 51.
26. Simon attempts an American accent.
27. Arthur Clayton’s four piece cue.
28. Neil Morrisey and Sean Penn.
29. Who’s who and how double acts stand.
30. Andrea’s special friend.
31. Jimmy’s present.
32. Girl Scouts in the US.
33. Trev lists Celebrity meat products.
34. An offer Simon can refuse.
35. orgasmic births.
36. Coconut monkey cake revenge.
37. Monkey prison.
38. General animal revenge.
39. Demons of the Mind.
40. Robert Hardy’s toe.
41. Tweed update.
42. What the old wear.
43. What Sparks wear.
44. Brown Willy.
45. Snippet of The Snake.

Bet you wish Andrea had done the list now.