Here’s Pocast No.10, or, if you prefer, Podcast No.9 part two. We recorded Podcast No.9 a few weeks back sitting on a balcony at the Royal Festival Hall. When we’d done, we moved inside, had a sandwich, and then did another. We don’t get to meet up too much so’s we thought it a good idea (that’s one of the best sentences I’ve ever written).

You can listen to/download it here- Trev and Simon Podcast No.10

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location

And here’s what’s on it:

1. Dance hall toasters.
2. Duralit V Duraglit.
3. Trev gets saucy.
4. Simon gets married.
5. Sexy rabbits.
6. Squirrels (maybe sexy).
7. Elevator Gods.
8. Filming.
9. Tears of a clown.
10. Yorkshire accents.
11. Trev loves beacons.
12. Trev and Simon sing.
13. Carry your Little Belisha Beacon/*****.
14. Grandad pierrots.
15. The Eggrobats.
16. Dan and the Doves.
17. The Rogers Brothers.
18. The Cox Twins.
19. Hair up/Hair down.
20. trev and DIY.
21. James Ward and Blu-Tack.
22. the “Carrot” Farm.
23. Trev meets a tricologist.
24. Dead Man’s Shoes.
25. York.
26. Tadcaster.
27. Looking for an ending.

We hope you enjoy it. And we hope to do another next Wednesday, most likely our last before Christmas. If you need any festive questions answering, you know you can rely on us.

I’ve been driven mad getting this post up. It’s taken yesterday afternoon and all of today. I’ve lost posts, I’ve uploaded and downloaded. Something in the computer has been reformatting everything. And then I realise. it’s Friday 13th. I suppose I’m luck to be alive. No more fuss and messing about. Here it is:

You can listen to/download it here- Trev and Simon Podcast no. 9

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location

And here’s what’s on it:

1. Recording from the banks of the Thames
2. Sweets
3. **Warning! A technical hitch at 03:38**
4. Remembrance Day
5. Morrissey and The Specials
6. Simon’s casting
7. “Serenity now!”
8. Simon’s mood
9. Future podcasts
10. Listeners’ questions
11. Trev’s attire
12. Bruce Forsyth
13. Are Trev and Simon going back on tour?
14. How Trev and Simon used to write
15. More listeners’ questions
16. Christmas presents
17. Simon sings!
18. Andrea sings!
19. Moustaches
20. Trev’s band
21. Gary Glitter
22. Who wants to marry Simon?

And, after a bit of a test, that seems to work. Sorry for starting off the post grumpy, but when computer’s go bad I have no idea.

And I made a mistake in the noonpod. I say my choir’s concert is on the 14th December. It’s not! It’s the 7th. If any of you can come along, or want to come along, please choose the correct Monday. Sorry about that error. I blame Stumpy. Serenity Now!

Oh, and to those of you who asked questions, thank you. if we haven’t answered yours it may be because we answere it in Podcast 10… recorded about half an hour after this one, this time inside the Royal Festival Hall. We’ll put that one up next week. And if we still haven’t answered your question… sorry. Maybe it was rubbish. Or maybe we’re just rude. Or we lost it. Or we’re rubbish. Or all of these things.

Yes, all of these things.

We met a photographer in the Royal Festival Hall. he came up, said hello, and took a couple of pics. And he’s kindly sent them on. Cheers Richard.

Trev and Simon by Richard Griffin

Trev Neal, Richard Griffin, Simon Hickson

But you lot always help and you always play your part. Please feel free to leave your comments, questions etc. The etc. being the most exciting parts.

Ask anything. the worst that can happen is we just ignore you. And the more we ignore you, the closer etc. Poor old Morrissey. First he’s ill, then he gets bottle chucked at him. Do you know what I’m on about? I’m not sure I do. I type this furiously whilst I should be doing some work. Of sorts. I’ve never done work work.

I must stop. Please leave us your questions and we will do our best to please. And insult.

Bye. I have been Simon not Trev. If this post seems flimsy, cobbled together, random, well it is. And I, Simon M Hickson, take full responsibility.

Here’s Podcast No. 8. This podcast contains only minor bad language. Sorry. It’s shorter than usual, only about 45 minutes, but don’t be fooled. That doesn’t mean it’s funnier or better quality. We were out and about for this one sitting outside Ev near Waterloo. Why? Because it was my birthday and me and Trev and his wife Cath had been romping around the West End, seeing Scarface and drinking alcohol. A few friends turn up during the podcast. And a few strangers.

You can listen to/download it here- Trev and Simon Podcast no. 8

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location

And here’s what’s on it:

1. Happy birthday Simon!
2. Outside broadcast
3. Introducing Kath
4. Scarface
5. Businessmen and their bags
6. Simon opens a card
7. Punk vs jazz
8. Who would Trev and Simon like to work with?
9. The colour of Trev’s pants
10. Andy Crane (and Tommy Steele)
11. Signifcant years
12. Dave Morley
13. Trev swears!! Or does he?
14. Why 47 is better than 50
15. Carlito’s Way
16. The fourth plinth
17. Beggars and buskers
18. The pot monkey sketch
19. Pickling Jeff
20. Which animals do Trev and Simon trust the least?
21. Irish stew and Oobidoo
22. Pia arrives
23. Trev and Simon’s robbing past
24. A recent casting
25. Simon’s house-sitting update
26. Simon’s presents
27. Andrea’s off to Brighton, and America
28. Trev And Simon’s Stupid Book
29. The Broadcast poll

Simon opens his present from Trev, Cath and the kids

Here’s Podcast No. 7.  Andrea, our producer, says it’s “very funny and has a lovely vibe”. And she knows. And sorry once more but there has to be a warning! This Podcast contains bad language. Actually really quite bad bad language! Sorry. You have been warned. I blame David Cameron.

You can listen to/download it, here- Trev And Simon Podcast No. 7

Just click on the link above to listen to it. Or to download the podcast: On a PC, right-click on the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location on your computer. On a Mac, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download it to the selected location.

And what’s in it? Here’s the list-

1. 60s pop star Joe Brown
2. Twitter
3. Swearing!
4. Simon’s special diet
5. Trev’s holiday
6. Hats and swimming pants
7. Star-spotting on Trev’s holiday
8. Silverfish
9. (Queuing for) mints
10. Being poisoned
11. Would Trev or Simon pee on the other? Find out!
12. Simon’s film review: The Taking Of Pelham 123
13. Introducing Pickles the cat
14. Simon’s second film review: Antichrist
15. Unpleasant songs
16. Sam Brown
17. Meeting Syd Little
18. David Cameron
19. Questions from listeners
20. Andrea fumigates Simon
21. The Trev And Simon Festival
22. Jokes from Trev And Simon’s Stupid Book
23. How to play Wilderness
24. More questions from listeners
25. Fights
26. Andrea chokes
27. A game of Wilderness
28. More jokes

There you go. And look! Here’s our book:

And guess what? It is available! On Amazon. And for only 1p! That’s a bargain. Only 4 left. Get it now for one penny, here.

Oh, and I apologise to all those listeners who are traumatised by Trev and Andrea’s singing of the 23rd best selling single of 1982.

Oh, and one more thing. Here’s what Trev drew during the podcast.

Pot Fish by Sophy, aged 11

Here’s some art by Sophy, aged 11, now, one would hope, in her mid twenties. Well done Sophy. Your art survives.

We’re doing a podcats tonight and we have loads of questions from you all. Thank you. We’ll get through as many as we can, and I will be rude to you all. Maybe. That’s me, Simon. Not Trev. He’s nice. But he could turn. he’s just back from holiday- two weeks in the sun- and now it’s just rain rain rain. Who knows what that will do to him.

Please keep on leaving comments, questions, and if we don’t get round to them this time, maybe next time.

Here’s Podcast No. 6.  Andrea, our producer, says it’s “possibly the best one yet”. Which is not necessarily as good as it sounds. Oh, and she’s made me put this warning… This Podcast contains bad language. And rude terms! Sorry. You have been warned though.

You can listen to/download the podcast here.

download notes: For PC users, right-click the link above, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer. For Mac users, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer.
Here’s the stuff, listed lovingly by Andrea:

1. Simon is homeless (and irritable)
2. The hot weather
3. The Fog
4. Andrea in a playsuit
5. Trev’s casting
6. Michael Jackson (and Paul Weller)
7. The stunts of Bruce Springsteen and Bob Hoskins
8. Bubbles the monkey
9. Trev’s relaxation technique
10. Trev and Simon’s clean-living BBC years
11. George Lamb and legal highs
12. Trev has to fill
13. Ed and Oucho
14. Blythe Hill Fields
15. Starbursts, and pictures on the wall
16. The moon landings and moonwalk
17. Glastonbury memories
18. A question from Maxxmonkey
19. Acupuncture
20. Trev’s lost passport
21. If Trev and Simon had taxpayers’ expense accounts
22. Fluffy Flo
23. Back and forth
24. Bruce Springsteen again
25. Simon’s homelessness again
26. Twitter etiquette
27. Stalkers and followers
28. Dentists and sexybots
29. Graham Linehan’s books
30. Lance Henrikson and the No Show
31. Finchley
32. Hampstead
33. A plea to the residents of Finchley
34. ‘My Lean Baby’
35. The Presenter Look
36. Celebrities named after animals
37. Introducing Sarah Gillespie

In the meantime here’s an old prop for our Live and Kicking days that I would like to leave up here as our official Michael Jackson tribute.

Here’s Podcast No. 5. I’ll get this up and running as quickly as possible and put a list of the content up later. I haven’t listened to it yet so I hope it’s all fun, for you and for me.

You can listen to/download the podcast here.

download notes: For PC users, right-click the link above, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer. For Mac users, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer.

Here’s the list, lovingly compiled by our producer Andrea:

1. Hello again after a long absence
2. The new podcast location: Brockley
3. Simon’s voting advice for the European election
4. Rory McGrath and Fawlty Towers
5. How to kill someone with a rolled-up newspaper
6. The Trev And Simon podcast is interrupted by a text message from Trev’s wife
7. Trev’s little black man-bag (pictured)
8. Paul Weller copies Trev’s style
9. More Fawlty Towers’ reminiscences
10. Questions and comments from T&S’s old editor, Mick
11. The ‘Live And Kicking’ Christmas Special from Burgh Island: An epic story starring Peter Simon, Shane Richie, Andi Peters, John Barrowman, Emma Forbes and a sea monster
12. Brigadoon
13. Simon won’t name names
14. Jim Bowen
15. Tori Amos
16. Andi Peters and Philip Schofield’s strange habits
17. Jamie’s questions
18. The Trev And Simon World Tour
19. A question from Elaine Pettigrew
20. Simon’s questions for Trev
21. Whatever happened to Jamie Theakston?
22. The genius of Frank Bough
23. Andrea says a rude word and makes the Trev And Simon Podcast X-certified
24. Andrea’s theory on Susan Boyle
25. Simon’s theory on Susan Boyle
26. Trev is Simon Cowell, Simon is Piers Morgan
27. Simon’s take on ‘Synecdoche, New York’
28. Simon’s take on glow-in-the-dark monkeys
29. Hazel Blears and Michael Gove
30. Lady lamps
31. European election predictions
32. Trev’s twin daughters’ birthday parties
33. The Ring
34. The monkey suit in the loft
35. Kinky dressing-up in Trev And Simon costumes
36. Simon and Andrea are loaded on celebrity juice
37. Simon names a name

Trev's lovely manbag

At last, we are recording a 5th podcast tomorrow. What with us Andrea being so busy, it’s been hard to get this together. And we’ll be doing it from a new location; Producer Andrea’s new flat.

What will we talk about? We don’t know. But so much little has gone on since the last podcast I doubt we’ll I’ll sut up.

If you have any burning issues, see a doctor. Or ask us. Sorry it’s all a bit last minute.  All comments, questions etc. are most welcome and will be treated in complete unconfidentiality. Inconfidentiality? Oncofidentiality.