Fifth podcast will arrive… someday

May 11, 2009
Old things0086 (2)

how we'd look if we had proper jobs

Hello folks. We haven’t forgotten you and we hope you haven’t forgotten us. Yes, it’s been just over a month since our last podcast and we’re well aware we are due another one. We’re getting podcast withdrawal symptoms. I was found wandering the streets the other day, muttering to myself about monkey coconut abuse. Trev’s suffering from tweed withdrawal so badly he’s taken to wearing tweed pyjamas.

We will do another. Honest. Promise. It’s just that Andrea, our lovely producer and instigator and mentor blah blah blah has only gone and got herself a proper job, and launched an album called Photograph, and just in general got on with her life rather than wasting it with a couple of daft-talking chancers.

We plan to kidnap her. We will kidnap her, keep her locked up for months on end until she develops Stockholm Syndrome. The we will all move to Stockholm and do a podcast from there. At least that’s the plan (that I’ve just made up in the last few seconds of typing).

Failing that we’ll wait until we’ve all got a free evening.


Trev and Simon Podcast No.3 is here

March 22, 2009


You can listen to/ download it here… trev-and-simon-episode-3

Download notes: For PC users, right-click the link above, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer. For Mac users, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer.

That’s the serious stuff out of the way. So, yes, here’s No.3, recorded (for all you time fans) between approximately 2.30pm and 3.30pm on the 19th March 2009. In Andrea’s flat. Which is in Peckham or Dulwich, depending on whether you want to be poncey or not. Peckwich.

Andrea sent it to me to post up here, but without her usual list. She did one but it got lost in cyberspace. And so she asked me to do it because… well, I guess she just can’t even begin to bear to listen to the whole thing again. Podcasts should be like Mission:Impossible missives. They should detonate five seconds after being heard. And that should be that. Until the next one. So, I’m in charge of the list, and it turns out to be a long one. Here’s what you can listen to in Podcast No.3:

  1. Ideal Podcast length. 4 or 46 minutes.
  2. Andrea calls us boys… as does Barrymore.
  3. Geoff Boyes.
  4. The Hampshire Hoffman.
  5. Trev loves Mike and the Mechanics.
  6. Andrea loves Paul Carrack.
  7. Andrea is Nana in Nana Nia.
  8. The French Green Green Grass of Home.
  9. The Snake.
  10. Trev sings The Snake.
  11. The Snake deconstructed.
  12. Caffeine.
  13. Funny place names.
  14. Andrea loves Phil Collins.
  15. Whigfield- Pop Outsider.
  16. Rasputin record pluggers.
  17. Whigfield does duvets.
  18. Don’t do… versus Do do.
  19. Muck Off.
  20. Phillip Schofield Radio 1 Roadshow.
  21. Nicknames.
  22. Who do we look like?
  23. Looniversity Challenge- Good choice!
  24. Nicknames explained.
  25. Simon faces up to US military might in Area 51.
  26. Simon attempts an American accent.
  27. Arthur Clayton’s four piece cue.
  28. Neil Morrisey and Sean Penn.
  29. Who’s who and how double acts stand.
  30. Andrea’s special friend.
  31. Jimmy’s present.
  32. Girl Scouts in the US.
  33. Trev lists Celebrity meat products.
  34. An offer Simon can refuse.
  35. orgasmic births.
  36. Coconut monkey cake revenge.
  37. Monkey prison.
  38. General animal revenge.
  39. Demons of the Mind.
  40. Robert Hardy’s toe.
  41. Tweed update.
  42. What the old wear.
  43. What Sparks wear.
  44. Brown Willy.
  45. Snippet of The Snake.

Bet you wish Andrea had done the list now.

Muck Off

March 17, 2009

muck-offHere’s Trev’s artwork for Muck Off, a Blimey that’s Good! product designed to keep pests out of your garden. I guess this was made for our tour. I can’t begin to believe we were allowed to get away with it on Saturday morning TV.

Not just leather coats

March 12, 2009

Recent readers may worry that the two of us are a little leather obsessed. We don’t wear leather all the time. Sometimes we try and be much more exotic. Happy Christmas!


Whigfield tells it like it is

March 12, 2009

whigfield1Do you remember Whigfield? I do. Also known as Sannie Charlotte Carlson, Whigfield had a huge hit in the 90’s with Saturday Night. What a great opening line; Dee Dee Na Na Na!

Now of course she came and performed the song on Live and Kicking! She was Number One in the charts, and also she would have had no choice. In the 90’s pop singers were treated like performing monkeys by their sinister svengali masters, the record pluggers. But sometimes they found their own way of rebelling. Whigfield rebelled on two fronts. Firstly, she refused to do the Saturday Night dance. This involved (and I quote from Wikipedia here) “the unusual feature of looping a pattern of five bar-long steps over an ordinary four-bar cycle of music.” I mean, I thought it was that, but, you know, it’s best to get these things right. And she wouldn’t do it. I think she was asked to do the dance on the show. She said, “I don’t do it.”

Later, we stood chatting to Whigfield, and this is where her second act of rebellion took place. Off camera, there was me, Trev, Emma Forbes and Whigfield. Emma asked Whigfield what it felt like to be Number One. And Whigfield said; “It feels like shit.”

Dee Dee Na Na Na!

Trev and Simon Podcast No.2 is here

March 7, 2009


We did our second podcast on Thursday, officially called Trev and Simon Podcast No.2. Why’s it taken so long to arrive here I hear you ask (except I don’t)? Well, I forgot what I was doing and had to have a conference call with Andrea our producer, and then we started talking about capybaru’s. You see! It’s not just Trev I can talk rubbish with. So, yes, another hour (actually just under) of two men talking nonsense… last time I compared it to a trip to the pub to listen to two old drunkards. This is more like a stop off on the way to listen to two cider swigging hobos on a park bench… friendly ones though, the type who feed the birds tuppence a bag.

You can listen to/ download it here… Trev and Simon Podcast No.2

Download notes: For PC users, right-click the link above, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer. For Mac users, hold down Ctrl and click the link, then select ‘Save Link As’ and download to the selected location on your computer.

That was a serious bit wasn’t it? We pinched that from some people who do a proper podcast.

Here’s what some of our listeners thought of Podcast No.1:

  • I am very happy that you are doing a podcast… Siobhan
  • I want cake… Elaine
  • I make good cakes… Hannah
  • Great podcast guys… Tom
  • Great podcast… Maisie
  • I loved the podcast!!!!… Zoe
  • I loved it most… Mr Kipling
  • VERY VERY funny… James
  • Enjoyed it very much… rambling… epic… nondescript… butts… shirts… much better… BingoTom
  • Better than mine… Ricky Gervais

Ok, I made that last one up and BingoTom’s I edited a bit, but you get the drift. Oh, and I made the Mr Kipling one up.

Here’s another list, lovingly prepared by producer Andrea, who, in an official capacity, has no choice but to listen to the podcast more than once. This time round we talk about…

  1. Podcast number two
  2. Growing old disgracefully
  3. Andrea looking like Nana Mouskouri
  4. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
  5. Trevor wearing tweed now, Simon wearing tweed at university
  6. Underpants
  7. Mistresses (the TV show)
  8. The Chap and Vic Reeves
  9. Simon’s leather Nazi coat and other fascist fashion trends
  10. Simon’s visit to Woodlands, incl. peak flow and a touchy-feely nurse
  11. Renaming strokes
  12. Trev brings coconut cake which looks like a polar bear, Simon refuses to eat it
  13. Pig-tailed macaques (and their role in the coconut trade)
  14. Trevor’s family bike ride
  15. The Brits
  16. Old people wearing young people’s fashion
  17. Andrea’s new band The Hummingbirds
  18. Questions and comments from our listeners
  19. Genesis, Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins
  20. Glutinous rice
  21. What are the origins of Trev and Simon’s nicknames, ‘Minty’ and ‘Sticky’?
  22. Celebrity ham
  23. Tampons
  24. An update on the Trev And Simon website, blog and Facebook page

That’s 24 things!

As usual (usual? It’s only the second one) it’s all there in its unedited glory. We don’t plan much and we don’t know what we’re going to say but we enjoy ourselves and we hope you enjoy listening to it. Oh, and as usual, this podcast is unsuitable for children… and adults.

Oh, and big apologies to that most excellent Chap, Michael “Atters” Attree for calling him Michael “Atters” Atterby! What was I thinking?

Oh, and for those of you keen to find it on iTunes, it should hopefully find its way there within a couple of days. We’ll keep you posted with a post when they post it.

Oh… that’s it.

Hello from Trev and Simon

February 11, 2009


Here we are as two hairy men. Welcome to our blog. Today we did a podcast. Our first. We’ll let you know when it is up and running.